The greatest vocation a man can have
Being a father is the greatest vocation a man can have. Fathers have destiny-defining power. The ability to create and destroy lives. To grow life or to crush it. When done well it is breathtakingly beautiful and when done badly it is catastrophic.
There are so many areas I am working on. Here are three, which I consider high-level important tasks.
1.Do the Work on Self
a. Become the best version of yourself. Learn to love yourself.
b. We are conquering outer space but not doing much work on inner space. Spend time every morning in prayer, the scriptures, and silence.
c. The road to higher pay and a bigger job/business is often a toll road. It will eventually exact a toll.
d. Manage your anxiety and reactivity – Know your triggers, filter your self-talk, exercise, slow your breathing, deal with present moment issues.
e. Be generous with your life – Through selfless endeavor and service with love, give your life away.
f. Our own need to be needed seduces us. So, we give our children too many things! Postpone gratification. Give yourself first. I deserve needs to be replaced by – “I serve”.
g. “Glint in your Eye” – your children need to see it in you. They need to see your purpose and passion, the thing that switches your lights on.
2. Love your wife and children’s mother
a. Ask the right questions like: “How are you?” or “You don’t seem to be happy today would you like to chat?”
b. Deal with the sex and intimacy question. Find ways to talk about this topic with kindness, care and love. Most fights are over: Sex, Money, and Children.
c. The greatest opportunity we have as a society is learning the art of sustaining love. Love her the way she needs to be loved.
d. Stop saving your children from pain and problems.
e. Restore the “Family Dinner” – At least once a week everyone sits at the table, eats a family-cooked meal, and shares something of their day/life.
3. You cannot do it on your own
a. We all need a Band of Brothers, – surround yourself with other good men. The SOLO man is a modern heresy and a lie.
b. Authentic Manhood – Reject passivity/ accept responsibility/ live courageously/ love God and others with your whole being. Become the man you were made to be.
Jesus came to the earth and gave God a new name. He called his Father “ABBA”. Like “Dada” a very tender and close name. He told stories of the Good Shepherd/The Prodigal Son (the Good Father) and he taught his friends how to pray by saying the “Our Father”. He was raised by an earthly father – Joseph of Nazareth. Joseph raised Jesus to be a Man. Joseph and Mary show us how to be a family.
•Robert Falzon, a husband and father, is an author, businessman and the founder of the national menALIVE ministry.
Thanks Robert. For us Fathers who are not with the mothers of our children, we need the strength to still be supportive and friends with our Children’s mums. We need to be able to create a family life for our beautiful children with the mums, despite no longer all being together.